I’m reading Loveability by Robert Holden, where he says, ‘All we are ever experiencing is the effect of having chosen love or fear.’
He goes on to say that whenever we are feeling bad, we are feeling fear. Fear encompasses self-doubt, unworthiness, feeling ‘not enough’, anxiety, impatience, envy, jealousy, skepticism, competitiveness, trying too hard, judging others, defensiveness, hostility, blame. That’s quite a list and I can certainly say I’ve felt all those emotions. I can’t say I ever connected them with fear.
‘… fear arises when you stop loving, which also causes you to feel lonely, depressed, and powerless.’, the author goes on to say.
I’m thinking of someone I haven’t liked. When I recast that as fear, I can see it. That person brings up self-doubt in me, makes me feel like I’m not enough, that I must try harder. I feel powerless with this person.
No one can make me feel anything; I know this, I even teach this in my classes. I know I am choosing to feel those emotions.
And I can choose to love instead. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to, if I’m honest. And a part of this feels fake. But in the end, it’s a much better choice, for me, and probably for them.
Try this ONE thing
Where is a lack of love showing up as fear (in all its many forms) in your life? Can you choose love?
Want to experience coaching? I like to start with a deep, get-to-know-you conversation to see if we are right for each other. Sometimes we talk for one or two hours at no charge. I have no goal except to bring about transformation. Together we work on the lies, the self-deception, the fears of the power you perceive to be outside yourself. We work on your difficulties in making decisions and your inability thus far to make bold choices in life and to follow through and trust yourself completely to do so.
The irony for some people is that the very thing that they want the coaching for (an indecisive, half-hearted life) is what’s keeping them from deciding whether to get coaching.
When you’re ready, reach out @ karen.laidlaw.theONEthing@outlook.com. Meanwhile, enjoy the blog!
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