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The Power of Avoiding Why Questions To Keep You Out Of Blame

Updated: May 3, 2022

Last week I talked about a powerful question to shift into a better state. This week I want to talk about how damaging and destructive ‘why questions’ are.

I’m not talking about the ‘5 whys’ technique which is a beautiful way to get to the root cause of a problem you’re trying to fix. Keep asking why in those circumstances.

I’m talking about the ‘why questions’ that seem to be helpful but really aren’t. ‘Why can’t I ever figure this out?’, ‘Why do I never seem to get the breaks?’, ‘Why am I so (insert your favourite negative)?’

Guess what kind of answer you’re going to get when you ask those types of questions? Proof, examples, and evidence. Next stop: the blame game and a downward spiral. Don’t even go there.

You’ve got to ask a better question, one that will uplift you and move you forward.

Try this ONE thing

Try using ‘what’ or ‘how’ questions, as in ‘How can I figure this out?’ ‘What can I do to get more breaks?’, ‘How can I look at myself more positively?’ or ‘What are my good qualities?’. Not only will you avoid all that negativity that comes with all that proof and blame, but you’ll actually be also moving yourself into a better place where you can move forward, on to something more positive.

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