You know and I know they do not work. We’ve all made them, and we’ve all been discouraged and disappointed. Everything starts out great for a few days or weeks and then we skip a day, then another and before we know it, it’s the end of January and our goal is nowhere in sight.
And then our harsh inner critic steps in to remind us of all our other failures and flaws and suddenly we’re paralyzed. Does anyone need more of that pain?
It's our brain’s negativity bias at work.
What if there was a way to circumvent that bias?
No doubt there’s ONE particular goal that eludes you. It’s the ONE you keep coming back to. It’s your ‘if only’ goal. The one where you say: ‘If only I could {fill in the blank}’, my life would be so much better.’ It’s that goal.
I call this your gateway goal.
Gateway [geyt-wey]:
noun
any passage by or point at which a region may be entered
A gateway, once passed, makes it easier to get somewhere else. A gateway goal is ONE goal that once you achieve it, opens the passage for achieving all sorts of other goals.
Here’s an example from my life: For years I struggled to love myself and feel that I was enough just as I was. You may have heard my stories of my friend Andrew giving me this feedback and pushing me to that space of self-love. When I finally got there, when I finally reached that goal, it opened the possibility of so many other goals that had seemed out of reach. And it became like a chain reaction, each goal attainment led to the next one. Specifically, for me, here’s what came after I got to self-love:
Confidence – once I loved myself, I could trust myself and that meant I didn’t have to spend so much time hand-wringing and second-guessing.
Weight loss – with that renewed confidence in myself, it was easy to treat myself very well by eating properly, exercising, and getting more sleep which all led to my releasing 40 pounds I did not need.
Love and romance – since I felt better and I looked better, I was more open to dating and receiving attention and affection from men (and one special man in particular).
My calling – I finally had the clarity, courage, and confidence to create my website, blog, a couple of programs and a coaching business.
Do you see how this concept of a gateway goal works?
What is your gateway goal? What is that ONE goal you’d love to achieve in 2021?! Tell me in the comments. I promise to respond.
Stay tuned because I’m creating a course on the easy steps to get to success. Want to kick-start your 2021? Go here to book a free 15-minute call with me. I’ll give you at least one tip that’ll get you on your way.