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How Might Confidence Be Actually Connected To Self Love?

I'm listening to Spare, Prince Harry's autobiography, and he's talking about learning to fly the Apache. His trainer is encouraging him to 'be confident, you know, self-love'. Really? I'm not sure I've ever thought those two concepts were connected.

In my own journey to self-love, I never saw the connection of that to confidence. I would generally have described myself as confident even though I lacked self-love. The distinction I’m now seeing is that I was confident in doing things, I could speak in public, manage my money, keep the peace in my family. No one would describe me as not confident.

And yet, I wasn’t confident in myself. I worried I would ultimately be found lacking. I worried being single for so long meant I was unlovable. I worried I was not smart enough, nice enough, thin enough. I worried I was not okay, that it was not okay to be me.

Flash forward to self-love AND self-confidence, where I am truly confident with who I am and with what I can do. And I am soaring now.

I posted this quote two weeks ago: “Envy comes from people’s ignorance of, or lack of belief in, their own gifts.” (Jean Vanier). Hmmm. There’s something there, because I’ve also discovered I rarely experience envy and jealousy anymore, because I am owning my own gifts, because I am comfortable being me, because I know I am enough. And so is everyone else.

Try this ONE thing

Check in with yourself to determine if your self-love, and your confidence, need a boost. We need strong women like you in these trying times.

You are awesome just as you are, and you can be better. I’ve done this work for myself and I want to help you do it too. Sign up for my blog at and please join the conversation by sharing your comments and stories on LinkedIn or dropping me a note at

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