I'm listening to Spare, Prince Harry's autobiography, and he's talking about learning to fly the Apache. His trainer is encouraging him to 'be confident, you know, self-love'. Really? I'm not sure I've ever thought those two concepts were connected.
In my own journey to self-love, I never saw the connection of that to confidence. I would generally have described myself as confident even though I lacked self-love. The distinction I’m now seeing is that I was confident in doing things, I could speak in public, manage my money, keep the peace in my family. No one would describe me as not confident.
And yet, I wasn’t confident in myself. I worried I would ultimately be found lacking. I worried being single for so long meant I was unlovable. I worried I was not smart enough, nice enough, thin enough. I worried I was not okay, that it was not okay to be me.
Flash forward to self-love AND self-confidence, where I am truly confident with who I am and with what I can do. And I am soaring now.
I posted this quote two weeks ago: “Envy comes from people’s ignorance of, or lack of belief in, their own gifts.” (Jean Vanier). Hmmm. There’s something there, because I’ve also discovered I rarely experience envy and jealousy anymore, because I am owning my own gifts, because I am comfortable being me, because I know I am enough. And so is everyone else.
Try this ONE thing
Check in with yourself to determine if your self-love, and your confidence, need a boost. We need strong women like you in these trying times.
You are awesome just as you are, and you can be better. I’ve done this work for myself and I want to help you do it too. Sign up for my blog at https://bit.ly/kltheonething and please join the conversation by sharing your comments and stories on LinkedIn or dropping me a note at karen.laidlaw.theONEthing@outlook.com.