You keep getting it wrong. Arghh! Why can’t you manage to turn things around? Why does this keep happening?
You might not like my answer, but it keeps happening because you expect it to and because you’ve got a whole monologue about it.
If you really want to change things, asking why will never help you. It’ll just leave you stuck in the blame game, in your same old story.
To bring about real change, you’ve got to ask yourself a different question? You’ve got to start your question with a different word? How? How!
As in:
How would I like this to be?
How can I create something different?
How can I minimize the frustration of this?
How can I make this easier?
A better question is a good start, but the magic happens when you take a moment to answer your new question. And it may take a beat to get an answer, but that answer will be much more powerful and will pull you out of frustration and into possibility.
Here’s an example from my life: I had a 6:30 am flight that I was dreading because I would have to get up at 2:45 am. I spent quite a bit of time complaining about it, telling everyone how awful it would be. And it was awful, for the first five minutes after I awoke. It would have been so much better to ask myself, ‘how can I make this trip super fun?’, or ‘how can I reward myself after this trip?’.
Try this ONE thing
You must consciously decide to get out of that negative, downward spiral, of complaining and asking ‘why’, by imagining something much better by asking a ‘how’ question.
Or you can stay in the pain of dread.
Want to experience coaching? I like to start with a deep, get-to-know-you conversation to see if we are right for each other. Sometimes we talk for one or two hours at no charge. I have no goal except to bring about transformation. Together we work on the lies, the self-deception, and the fears of the power you perceive to be outside yourself. We work on your difficulties in making decisions and your inability thus far to make bold choices in life and to follow through and trust yourself completely to do so.
The irony for some people is that the very thing that they want the coaching for (an indecisive, half-hearted life) is what’s keeping them from deciding whether to get coaching.
When you’re ready, reach out @ karen.laidlaw.theONEthing@outlook.com. Meanwhile, enjoy the blog!
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