Recently a twenty-something asked me why I don’t seem to have moments where I lose my cool?
And I took a moment to realize that a) that is true of me and b) it was certainly not always the case.
Maybe it’s because I’m older and more mature and I have the benefit of a longer view of things.
Probably it’s because I’ve learned to take a beat and reflect in the moments when I get thrown off guard. Often, I don’t like what’s happening. Oftentimes I don’t know what to do next. But I now realize it’s a moment of choice. I can react if I want to, but I’ve learned that if I can sit with it for just a bit, the situation changes, or a response comes to me. The trick, I’ve learned, is to not keep yourself so busy that you miss it.
I like this thought from J. P. Morgan, ‘go as far as you can see; when you get there, you’ll be able to see further.’
This week I was hit with a setback. On Thursday I was filled with dread. By Friday, I was angry and making all sorts of mental arguments. By Saturday, I was still indignant, but starting to open up to how this could be a gift to me. By Sunday I was relaxed enough to make my own plans. By Monday I had made peace with it, and even wondered why I was worried.
I’m lucky enough to have had a role model who modeled grace under pressure for me. They never overreacted. They also gracefully chose their response after careful consideration. They knew they could trust themselves to handle whatever came.
I learned from them and now this twenty-something is learning from me. I get the chance to role model and pass it on.
Try this ONE thing
Who is role modelling for you and what are you learning from them? Most importantly, are you acting on what you’re learning? Keep doing that and one day you may find yourself in the position to role model for others, and that just feels really good.
Check out my story on my website, Karen Laidlaw the ONE Thing. And you’ll find lots of good freebies there too.